NASA’s astronauts are American heroes and proxies for our hopes and dreams. The best part of each new astronaut class is that we get an entirely fresh crop of. The centurion realized they were doomed surrounded by barbarian hordes Not his choice, being sent to Germania To die on foreign soil, in this supposed adventure. 23 worst date stories that’ll make you delete your Tinder forever. 16 Men And Women Tell The Story Of The Worst Tinder Date They Ever Had To Endure. ![]() Here's Everyone NASA Felt Was Better Than You. NASA’s astronauts are American heroes and proxies for our hopes and dreams. The best part of each new astronaut class is that we get an entirely fresh crop of people we can live vicariously through, and this year is no exception. Today, NASA announced its 2. Although over 1. 8,0. The dozen, disturbingly talented astronaut candidates will train at NASA’s Johnson Space Center for two years. It’s possible that this crew will fly beyond Low Earth Orbit, maybe even to Mars.“It’s an exciting time to be here at NASA,” NASA acting administrator Robert Lightfoot told the crowd gathered at the agency’s Johnson Space Center today. According to collect. SPACE, the team is made up of six military officers, three scientists, two medical doctors, a Space. X engineer, and a NASA research pilot. Here are the 1. 2 golden- retriever- human- beings NASA has ranked above all of us: Kayla Barron. The 2. 9- year- old Washington native is a graduate of the US Naval Academy, where she studied systems engineering. She also holds a Master’s degree in nuclear engineering from the University of Cambridge. Not too shabby. Zena Cardman. Cardman is a 2. 9- year- old biologist. She obtained her bachelors and masters degrees at UNC Chapel Hill. Her expertise is in “microorganisms in subsurface environments,” according to NASA.“I would be so stoked to do some gene sequencing on the ISS!” Cardman said in a Reddit AMA today. Raja Chari. Chari, 3. US Air Force Academy, class of 1. The Iowa native has a Master’s degree in Aeronautics and Astronautics from MIT and graduated from the US Naval Test Pilot School. He also has a ton of medals. ![]() ![]() 30 Guys And Girls Tell Their Supremely Awful Tinder Horror Stories. As twilight descends, nocturnal bat species rouse from their daily resting places to feed, creating spectacular clouds as they pour out of caves en masse. My Theory On How The Other 95 Percent Of Tinder Conversations Go Down. Best of luck to all of those “Tinder lovers”! For more Tinder fun, here are “The. Vanity Fair's Nancy Jo Sales looks at what happens when romance is swiped from the screen. Tinder is “awful, just a mess, a waste of time. Matthew Dominick. Dominick, 3. 5, hails from Wheat Ridge, Colorado. He served as a lieutenant commander in the US Navy and earned his bachelor of science in electrical engineering from the University of San Diego. Bob Hines. Hines, 4. NASA’s Johnson Space Center. According to NASA, he graduated from the US Air Force Test Pilot School with a master’s in flight test engineering. Warren Hoburg. The 3. MIT. Jonny Kim. The 3. Los Angeles native earned his bachelor’s degree in mathematics from the University of San Diego and his doctorate of medicine from Harvard Medical School. He is a former member of the US Navy. Robb Kulin. Kulin, 3. Alaska. He was a launch chief engineer at Space. X, and apparently a huge fan of Kerbal Space Program, according to a Reddit AMA. Jasmin Moghbeli. Moghbeli, 3. US Marine Corps. She holds a bachelor’s degree in aerospace engineering with information technology from MIT. Loral O’Hara. The 3. Houston, Texas native was a Research Engineer at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. She’s also a certified EMT and wilderness first responder.“We will be trained in spacewalking skills, robotics, ISS systems, flight training, and Russian language over the next two years,” O’Hara said in a Reddit AMA. We’ll continue training throughout our careers though, so we won’t spend too much time staying still!”Frank Rubio. Rubio, 4. 1, is a graduate of the US Military Academy. According to NASA, he holds a doctorate of medicine from the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences. Jessica Watkins. At 2. Watkins is the youngest member of the crew. The Colorado native earned her Bachelor’s degree in Geological and Environmental Sciences at Stanford University, and a Doctorate in Geology from UCLA, according to NASA. Ad astra, class of 2. We look forward to watching you live our best lives. Hooking Up With Tinder - An Older Man's Story. She enters my life like the dozen women who came before her and the hundreds who will follow: in the palm of my hand, flickering on the touchscreen of my phone. Her name is Michelle (no it isn't) and she is 2. Being nearly a decade older, I find her youth a bit distressing. Being a man, I find it a bit enticing. Further stoking my curiosity is the knowledge that Michelle is three miles from here, which has the effect of making her seem more real than the catalog model she resembles, blurring the line between fantasy and reality, pixel and potential. But mainly what I'm drawn to in Michelle is her looks: brown hair blown straight, white jeans that seem to have found their way onto her slender frame via skin graft, a face punctuated by the sort of vaguely suggestive grin made culturally ubiquitous by the selfie. With that, the word liked flares up in green, a virtual stamp denoting my interest, and Michelle vanishes into the digitized ether as quickly as she first appeared. Will she like me back? I contemplate this for about a second, then forget Michelle entirely, distracted now by Christine, the 3. Michelle's place. Christine seems nice. Certainly more age- appropriate, but she is 2. Michelle did. I swipe Christine to the left, watching the word nope flash across the screen in glib orange lettering. Nope, nope, liked, nope, liked, liked, nope: This is what romance looks like on Tinder, the fastest- growing mobile dating service in the nation, and either the most unapologetically superficial one to be invented or the one most honest about the primal instincts that have been drawing strangers to each other since the beginning of time. Using the magic of GPS, Tinder finds potential mates nearby and presents them to you. Should two people independently like each other, a . For all I know, Michelle, the first woman I've liked, has already gone and given me the nope. RELATED: 5 Dating Apps That Actually Work. It takes about 1. Tinder's cleverness: a dating service designed to never explicitly feel like a dating service. After the initial download, you're forced to link Tinder to your Facebook account, with the thin assurance that your Facebook friends won't know you're using it – at least until they stumble across you on Tinder. The effect is that instead of feeling like another lovelorn castaway handing the reins of your heart over to the algorithm of, say, Match. Indeed, a few minutes into the experiment and I've already forgotten how under ordinary circumstances, Tinder is exactly the sort of digital- age phenomenon that makes me want to move to a yurt and learn to spearfish. But these are not ordinary circumstances. Thirty- four years old, newly single for the first time in years, I have dealt with the breakup by impulsively moving from New York to New Orleans, where I know next to no one. I have not been out with a woman in months. I am at one of those disorienting life junctures where you find yourself hunched over your phone entertaining the idea that maybe 5. Granny met on Tinder. Or, if not that, then perhaps sex, an act you have fond but increasingly dim memories of enjoying, will be involved. That, you think, would not be so bad.! You have a new match! And not just a new match, but three! There's Michelle, as well as 3. Ashley, and Lori, a 2. I felt vaguely creepy for liking in the first place. While this is not as thrilling as catching a stranger returning your nervous smile from across a room, my ego swells at the thought of these women deeming me worthy of a rightward swipe. Michelle has gone ahead and taken the initiative, writing me a message that reads, in its hieroglyphic entirety: . Good morning. While waiting for Michelle to respond, I instigate conversations with both Ashley and Lori. This is the digital equivalent of hitting on a woman at a bar while the woman you've been hitting on is in the bathroom, a tightrope walk the analog me would never attempt.? I've already turned my attention to Lori. But Michelle messages me back: . But I'm feeling naughty! So what's up.. Want to have some fun? While Tinder has been called . I try to steer us into more innocent terrain: . Ashley is a yoga instructor working on her Ph. D. In fact, Ashley and I have been getting along so well in 2- D (or is it 4- D?) that we decide to meet up in 3- D, making plans to have drinks the following night. Because Tinder is purposely casual, rendering indistinguishable the boundaries between those looking to hang out, hook up, and get hitched, I'm not even sure, as I leave to meet Ashley, if I should think of this as a . But the truth is, the moment I see Ashley at the bar of a dimly lit restaurant in the French Quarter, I know exactly where this is going. Namely, nowhere. It isn't that she isn't beautiful, but physical attraction is a beguiling force: instantaneous, pheromonal, one no amount of digital chemistry can will into existence. Making our maybe- date more awkward is the fact that Ashley and I have already covered, via text, the most time- honored icebreakers. So what we mainly talk about is Tinder, rationalizing why we're . One particularly disillusioning moment comes while I'm on vacation in Ocean City, Maryland, when I end up chatting with Maya. She's 2. 6, with a scalpel- sharp wit, and her photos approximate my real- world tastes more than any Tinder woman so far. She tells me to meet her in a club that night, and as I wait, I try to keep my expectations in check, reminding myself that . Look at her! Wearing a gauzy tank top, a tiny vintage skirt, and scuffed leather boots, Maya exudes the sort of arty cool that a certain type of man (i. She sidles right up next to me and wraps her arm around my waist (good sign!) and asks for a shot of whiskey (better sign!). I'm confident this is going to be the night that converts me into a Tinder proselytizer. But the moment Maya takes her shot, a friend materializes out of nowhere, grabbing her arm and yanking her into the crowd. I hang around, repeatedly texting her through Tinder (. It does not disappoint. Within two days, I've been matched with more than 6. One night I meet up with Nicole, a 3. I log on to Tinder and set up a date with Casey, a 2. Google, whom I meet at a bar up the block an hour later for.. Two days later, things take a promising turn when I find myself at a Brooklyn taco joint with Meg, a 2. I'd exchanged a flurry of messages with. Our conversation is effortless and flirty, and we don't realize we're the last ones in the restaurant until the waiter politely tells us they're trying to close. Still, as the evening progresses, I can't shake the disquieting impression that Meg isn't interested in me so much as whatever fantasy she's concocted based on my Tinder profile. She keeps telling me how she can't wait to take a ride on my motorcycle, a reference to one of my Tinder photos, in which I am straddling a Triumph, one I admittedly put up to look cooler than I am. When I confess to Meg that the bike isn't mine and that the photo was taken during the first and only time I'd ridden one, she doesn't seem to hear me. As we kiss on a street corner at the end of the night, she whispers, . Once a salve to post- breakup loneliness, my Tinder usage has begun to foster a deeper, more existential kind. But just as I'm about to delete the app, I hear from Lori, the 2. We've stayed in touch, though I wouldn't describe any of our exchanges as even bordering on flirtatious, which is what makes this particular message so jolting: It's a Friday night, and Lori wants my phone number so she can . I give her my number, and soon enough.. Nothing tawdry, but since I'm at a stuffy dinner party, these glimpses into the life of a sorta- stranger are an entertaining diversion. As it gets later, however, Lori's messages take a blunt turn. Can you truly ? Over the next few days, her photos get more and more explicit: Here she is in a bikini, here she is out of the bikini. She is indisputably sexy, but if I'm turned on, it's more by the bizarre context of these exchanges than their lurid content. Feeling a kinship with Anthony Weiner was not something I'd expected from this whole endeavor. Every so often, I get a disarming reminder that to Lori what's transpiring between us is nothing more than, like, a totally normal form of courtship. For instance, at one point when I ask her for another photo of her in a bikini – a seemingly within- bounds request, given that by now she has sent me dozens – we have the following exchange. Lori: ? Just as I'm about to respond to Lori with a cultural polemic about the distorting effects of hyperconnectivity, I realize there's no point. Lori's memory doesn't extend beyond the Myspace era. For her, there are no lines separating the real from the digital, the world of the screen and the world at large. It doesn't matter to her that we've never spoken; in her eyes (eyes I have never seen), we've been dating all this time. I'm puzzled. What is the etiquette for breaking up with someone you've never met? But before I can formulate a plan, Lori texts me, at midnight: ? I'm driving to your house right now. I'm 2. 2, remember? I still do stupid shit. Forgive me if I don't go into detail about what happens next – the awesomeness of the awkwardness, the thrill of the unfamiliar morphing into the intimate – but thanks to Tinder, I now know what it's like to have a one- night stand with someone I've been dating for weeks. Still, maybe it's where I am in life, too frayed from a breakup to get into this sort of thing, or maybe it's who I am, someone who finds real life just fine as it is. But even after the Lori Experience I am officially worn out by Tinder. The buzzy pleasure of the swipe has lost all potency, the notifications alerting me to new matches have become interchangeable with those reminding me my credit card bill is due, and, in the end, I can't let go of the old- fashioned belief that it's better to be liked by one person for the right reasons than . Men And Women Tell The Story Of The Worst Tinder Date They Ever Had To Endure. Thought. is. 1. A Different Person Showed Up“Not exactly my worst, but potentially most confounding. Completely different girl showed up to my date. I’m not talking clever use of camera angles. This was a completely different person. I was honestly just amazed that someone had actually done this, and that I was witnessing it. It was one of those things that I’ve heard stories about from friends, but never actually experienced. It was super weird. She mentioned facts about me as if she was the one I was messaging, so who knows. I left after a drink. Met up with some friends.”—ineedabulldog. Not A Match“Finding my mom on there.”—downtodouch. Stood up twice in one night“I once got stood up twice in one night. With the first girl, me and her had an actual planned out date a few days in advance. I get to the place and texted her. She texted me 2. 0 min later and said she had met up with a friend beforehand so she was running late. She never showed up. I started Tindering at the bar, matched with someone, told her about my situation and asked her what she was up to. She said she was at a bar by herself, and told me that it sucked that my date just didn’t show up. I asked her if I could join, and she gave me an enthusiastic- sounding “sure!”. She wasn’t there when I showed up lol. I sarcastically messaged her ! I feel like I should get a prize or something.’ She didn’t respond and un- matched me the next day. The first date later said that she showed up late and I had left already, and wanted to re- schedule. I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and got off Tinder after that one.”—Isansa. The Rock n Roll Lifestyle“Guy invited me on a date to a bar to watch a band play and get a drink or two. I show up and wait around for a good 2. Turns out it was his band that was playing and he had invited 3 other girls on . White Girl, Into Asian Dudes, Hates asian Food“I’m an Asian dude. Matched with a white girl who was very clear in her profile that she only wanted Asian dudes. Normally, I don’t like being with anyone with a racial preference, even if it’s my race, but everything else about her (job, hobbies, etc.) seemed pretty interesting. Took her to a Korean restaurant and she revealed to me that she’s one of them picky eaters that grew up eating chicken fingers her entire life. Everything else about her turned out to be as boring as her culinary preferences. How do you expect to land an Asian dude when you’re afraid of any cuisine outside of fast food?!?!?”—Jon. NYBlazin. Az. N6. The Bitter Tinder Ex“Back in college, met a girl on Tinder. Invited her over after meeting out at the bars that night. We hook up and she was gone in the morning. We went out 1 more time sober and realized it wasn’t working out/what we wanted so we stopped talking. Anyways, 2 months later. My roommate brings her home and they hook up. Apparently they met on Tinder as well. I wake up to her coming into my room. I wake up and ask her to leave since I had class the next morning. She ends up pushing this red button that was in all the bed rooms at this particular campus. For those who have never seen this, it is a small red button that sends the police a distress signal. Anyways, later I have the police at our apartment as I explain to them that she thought it was funny to be press the button and I want her to leave. Meanwhile, she goes on saying it was an accident. Luckily, she finally leaves after all that.”—Slay. Owens. Slay. 7. The Most Expensive Tinder Date“Not me but a friend of mine. So he met this girl on Tinder, they chatted an after a month she invited him to her town, around 1. He agreed because he had a fucking date! So he drove to the town and a nice evening, eventually they got dinner. They eat but after the meal she . He got back home and it was an pretty expensive trip for him. I Love You!“Matched with an insanely hot guy. Told me he was a virgin but figured I’d let it slide. Go to his place and he was super handsy and sucked at kissing. I decided I was over it and told him I had to leave. He hugged me at the door and said, . I mean I love your body!’I got out of there so fast that I left my favorite cardigan. I have no desire to get it back.”—officialkinzie. Partied Out“In 2. Tinder. She lived in a college town about an hour away and he invited her out drinking in our city. He, I, and a dozen of our male friends were pregaming hard before a fraternity mixer. She shows up to his new and expensive highrise condo and she’s gained at least 4. Then she got riggity riggity rekd on shots and beers. Most of the party clears put to get changed and it’s just the owner of the condo, her, and me. It’s maybe 1. 0pm and we want to go out but she’s slurring her words. She starts vomiting. And doesn’t stop for an hour, that’s when I went left. Why the owner of the condo decided comes with me is a question lost to history, but he leaves her in the bathroom. When he got back he said she had curled up on his bed and puked on the night stand. So he sleeps on the couch. And when he awoke, she had disappeared without paying for or cleaning anything.”—Jail. Bait. FBIAgent. 10. I don’t have all the details but she was sitting in his truck talking to herself and at one point threw her phone out saying she didn’t want any attachment to material possessions. He says it got worse from there. It ended up with the cops taking her away.”—Turtle. Man. 20. 11. When You Find Out You’re The . Introduced me to her ? Look at her FB page because I was thinking about her we finally added each other earlier that day and see that Mr. Neighbor and her had been in a relationship for 2 years and either still were or had just broken up and are most likely living together. Never got a chance to confront her because she hasn’t spoken to me since. I sent a few texts but she unfreinded me on FB so I got the message and deleted her number and our kik conversation. Some people use that shit for one night stands or FWB and if that was what would have been established I’d have been fine with it. I didn’t think it was that starting out.”—Lins. When You Find Out You Were Just The Designated Driver“This was my friend. They made plans that included her being picked up by him. She gets in the car and notices that he has one of those breath start contraptions that you get with a DUI. Bummer, but not a deal breaker. They get to the restaurant and it is a terrible Mexican spot. She is a not a picky eater, so she said she would give it a whirl. The food was okay, but not great. They are talking and getting to know each other, and she notices that he orders a couple of margaritas. At the end of the meal he lets her know that he doesn’t have any money. She pays for the dinner and just wants to go home. They get to his car and he says he can’t drive because he had drinks. She is way nicer than I would have been and decided to drive his car to his house, then Uber home from there. She had to keep blowing in the device and was just really pissed about the whole thing.”—cda. A Dave & Buster’s Regular“I got tea with this guy as a first meet- up, and that went decently so I agreed to go out with him again. This time he suggested Dave and Busters. It was like a Wednesday night; the place was totally empty. This had the potential to be either really lame or really fun; it was definitely the former. He had no desire to drink (I offered to buy), revealed that he goes there by himself rather often, and by the end of it I was basically watching him play video games. First time I ever contemplated leaving while someone was in the bathroom. After the date he kept texting me and I was pretty unresponsive, hoping he would take the hint. After a couple days I told him I wasn’t interested, and he responded by cursing me out. Good times.”—halfadash. Well, He Wasn’t Wrong“I was having a great conversation with guy on Tinder. Then he asked me what I’d like to do in the future. I said I’d like to work for a company like Monsanto (Ag Business major in college here). Then they proceeded to call me . I shortly deleted Tinder.”—Horse. Racing. 15. Wait For It“I knew the girl before the date, because she’d worked at my job before being fired. I’d always thought she was cute, and she liked Batman, so I decided I’d try her out. We match, and decide to meet at a local hot dog stand. We’re eating, and everything is going great, and then I feel something get stuck in my throat. Turns out a piece of hot dog was completely blocking my esophagus (luckily, past my lungs, so I could still breath). I excuse myself to a nearby bathroom and attempt to hack it up for about 5 minutes, and then I started coughing blood. Long story short, I end up in the hospital, had to get an endoscopy, and ended up texting her a bunch of graphically explicit things about her ass while on anesthetics. And that’s how I met my future wife.”—Doofalicous. All Within Twenty Minutes“She said she was voting for Ben Carson. She called her father.
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